Your Arlington, your views

Here’s a suggestion that will put Arlington on the map.

There is a little street between the Route 2 service road and Spring Street, near the end of Jason Street. It has a nice little center median, is two car lengths wide, but no more than two car lengths long. Take a look at a cross-section of this street, it would resemble any of the finest boulevards or parkways in the region, but it’s so short.

This boulevard, this parkway, this disrespected stretch of boulevardis interruptus needs a proper name. I mean, it takes longer to describe this thing than it does to walk the entire length. Does that make any sense?

Not one to face a critical problem without a solution, I have the perfect name for this grand but short urban boulevard. MAGLIOZZI PARKWAY.

This is the ultimate “don’t drive like my brother” kind of street. For Tom, former Jason Street resident, this was part of the evil neighborhood cut-through that people from across town (brother Ray) would happily use to avoid traffic on Pleasant Street at rush hour.

Meanwhile, it would be an official grant of the kind of stature the beloved voices of Car Talk impose on themselves, especially when they describe the horror in the hearts of other NPR personalities when they recite the words, “This is National Public Radio.”

Associating this fine parkway with National Public Radio can have other benefits. Just consider, a quiet day toward the end of June. The fiscal year ends June 30, and we can set up an Arlington Town Pledge Drive on Magliozzi Parkway. Or we can change the name to Pledge Drive until we gain enough money to resume normal driving on our famous parkway.

Lots of tourists visit Portland to see the world’s smallest park. We have the opportunity to claim the world’s shortest parkway, and name it after a pair of Arlingtonians who would attract tour buses that absolutely, positively, won’t fit on the street.

Paul Schlichtman